It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
