So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
