He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
