He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
