Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
