so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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