I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this will be a night to untag.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Boobs are out for the taking
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
