Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
