i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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