she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
