Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
