if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
