dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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