This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize