Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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