While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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