my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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