U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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