my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize