At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Houston, we have a blender
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
