Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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