It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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