I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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