Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
