Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
