oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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