that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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