What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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