i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We have so much sex to catch up on
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
