He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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