i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
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My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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