I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
