If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There's even glitter on my cock...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
