also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.