I think I am morally bankrupt
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.