He disabled his match.com account in front of me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
