Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
