I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
