I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
