Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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