I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Don't tell me you're on acid again
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
