the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
