i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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