I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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