So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
