Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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