You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
