I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
