I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
there's paper in my vomit.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
