Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
