I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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