You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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