i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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