he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
