I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
