You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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