she was so not down for the gang bang
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
pop tarts are not kleenex
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
