trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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