I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
